Enter Talking

When I moved to the Chicago suburbs from San Jose, CA I spent a lot of time at the library. This was the summer before my sixth grade. I didn't know anyone and had little to do. I wanted to check out the audiobook "Enter Talking" by Joan Rivers (The title of which is based on advice someone gave her about doing standup- that she should always enter the stage talking, so there was no lull, so the energy was up). The librarian at the Crystal Lake Public Library had to call my mom and ask for her permission for me to check out a Joan Rivers book.

I recently found myself at the library again checking out a Joan Rivers book. Regressing. This time there was no hassle from the librarian, besides maybe a raised eyebrow. It was her motivational book, "Bouncing Back (I've Survived Everything...And I Mean Everything..And You Can Too!)" I didn't plan to read it all, I just thought, "what the hell, it can't hurt." I can't put the book down. The book is a strung together collection of motivational bumper sticker "get on with it" sayings infused with Rivers' life experience: her husband commiting suicide, being fired from her Late Night Talk Show, banned from the Tonight Show, the collapse and rebirth of her Jewelry company.

Why do I feel the need to educate you about Joan Rivers! Ugh, I'm so disgusted. Here's Miss Piggy and Joan Rivers. Happy Sunday. Whatever.

Maya Angelou's Caramel Cake

Erik and I traveled to my parents house to celebrate my mom's belated birthday. I made Maya Angelou's Caramel Cake.





The most exciting part of the cake for me is that I got to use parchment paper. Mmmm parchment paper. Martha is always going on about parchment paper, parchment paper. Like everyone has that laying around. "Just line the bottom of your cake pan with two rounds of parchment paper..." I finally got my hands on some.



Maya asks that you make your own caramel sauce by boiling the water and sugar down. You only use a very small amount and add that to your butter/sugar.



You use the rest to drizzle over the cake later (which I did not do because I knew my mom wouldn't be interested in that). I put it in a mason jar. In fact when we ate it she said, "I will have only a VERY small amount of that, thank you."



Creaming the butter, sugar and syrup. Fascinating!



Foaming the eggs. I was confused because I have done this with egg whites, but not with whole eggs. It's what Maya said to do, but I'm still not sure if that is correct.



The two cakes pre-cooked.



The cooked cake with PARCHMENT PAPER!!! It was very thrilling to peel the paper off.



Frosting the cake. The frosting was sort of difficult (that's why there was no pictures). I started with way less powdered sugar than I needed. It said to use a 16 oz box powdered sugar and I had a big bag from a previous frosting. I measured out 16 oz with a wet measuring cup. So my measurements were off. I kept adding and adding powdered sugar until it worked. I made it work.



The final cake. It was a little flat. My mom said "I can tell you exactly what you did wrong. You didn't push the cakes to the back of the oven." She was right. But I think it turned out ok.



The cake hacked into in my parent's dining nook. My mom said the cake was very good. She is paging through a British Recipes book. Erik and my mother were talking about English/Scottish recipes while I zoned out and took pictures of a cake like an idiot.

Maya Angelou was one of two living poets to read their own poems on inaugural day. She read "Inaugural Poem" for Bill Clinton's inauguration.

Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes, into
Your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning.

Bad Day

So What!

Sometimes, it takes an angry pretty lady to get my testosterone flowing. Today, I am really tapping into Pink's masculine, Susan Powter vibe! Some things went down this week and I am on board with Pink when she yells, "We're all gonna get in a fight!!" I could really go for a chainsaw and a cocktail right now.

• Pink
• New Music

Web Therapy

Lisa Kudrow is back in Web Therapy, an internet webisode series. She plays Fiona Wallace a therapist that believes three minute therapy sessions are much more effective than the usual 50 minutes that have patients "going on and on about dreams and feelings that add up to a whole lot of nothin." Bob Balaban, Tim Bagley and others appear as her patients. I love it.

Where's The Party?

Went to the Art Institute free night last night. I have been there so many times so I wasn't taken away or surprised by much. It's all real good work. Everyone did a real good job on everything. A+ Seurat, A+ Latrec, kudos to everyone. But I'd seen it all before and how lucky I am to have seen it all before.

Reflecting on the evening, over a bowl of curried vegetables and fried rice and chicken I tried to recall what my favorite piece was and I decided, along with the help of Erik, that it was Archibald Motley's "Nightlife." Erik said it was the only thing that made him physically smile. I agree. I smiled inside when I saw it. I want to be in that world.



It's just such an explosion out of repression and depression to sheer euphoria (except for the man who is wasted in the upper right). He's coming down, knows that he has to go back out onto that street, back home, back to the real world.



I also love the Eames Chair. My grandfather had one. Or maybe I made that up. I think he did. Anyway, it reminds me of my grandfather. I want it. I also want to go back to 1987 and I want to be Madonna and I want to where crazy glasses and...

Don't want to grow old too fast
Don't want to let the system get me down
I've got to find a way to make
the good times last
And if you'll show me how, I'm ready now!

Men Commuting

Here is a photo series of men commuting in Chicago.

Am I A Democrat?

Recently, at a potluck, I was asked if I watched Sarah Palin's speech. I said that I hadn't. I did turn on the RNC for a second and saw a bunch of white people yelling and screaming, congratulating each other for something. Was it the war? Or I'm sorry- The surge? The surge worked, right? It must have been the surge. Or...the economy? Because it's getting better! Or the continued fight for the preservation of traditional family values? The new "Life Happens" values? I'm still not sure. Anyway, they were all very very happy. It frightened me.

"Oh, you're a Democrat?" this person said.

I was so offended! I've never had this feeling before, but I really wanted to turn around and look to see if this person was actually asking me this question. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I forget that not everyone knows automatically that I am gay. I am. I'm gay. I know that being gay doesn't automatically equal me being a Democrat. I could be a Log Cabin Republican. But I think I danced out most of my sexual shame and internalized homophobia listening to a remix of "Xanadu" in 1999 at Roscoe's So, no, I'm not a Log Cabin Republican either.

Eckhart Tolle wrote in his book "The Power Of Now" about people who are on the outside and how they view the world. Women, Disabled people, racial or ethnic minorities, gender and sexual minorities have a view of the world that is different from anyone in the majority. He says enlightened. I'm gonna say different. So with this different view the minority sees that if you are not in the majority- you are excluded. That's what I saw in that convention hall, exclusion and ignorance.

So yes, I am a Democrat. Because, among a myriad of other reasons, I see people excluded from things on the basis of who they are. Subtly and quietly erased.

And now, predictably, I point you to an excerpt from Madonna's "controversial" video interlude at her concert. I got chills listening to the cheer at seeing Obama's picture.

Madonna's Controversial Video



"You don't have the luxury of time, you have got to say what's on our mind." My MILF, the real MILF, sinews and all, sure does inspire me with her snappy lyrics. She really does.

the lady of the hour

Crazy lady livin' up there in Alaska. Former head of the Christian Athletes! A former sports anchor! A member of Feminists for Life (what a snappy contradiction). With her cute little glasses on. Can we just have her be president? I'm supposed to hate her but I love her. I am playing right into to his cold white hands.

Standing before all those sexy rugged men in Alaska her boots on, hand over her heart. I am really getting wrapped up in a snow covered lesbian Christian Republican fantasy. Someone better talk me down. The next four years could be a Republican Alaskan Christmastime! I'm thinking I could really give it all up to the corporations and the military. Screw Change and health care. I want the Karen Walker hair and glossy lips. I'll eat canned chicken.

Roseanne Barr said, "The one who cares the most wins...That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over...I cared the most."

The one who cares the most, good or bad, will win. I vow to stop trying to control the election with my mind.

give us more to see

"Art is the mirror, perhaps the only one, in which we can see our true collective face. We must honor its sacred function. We must let art help us."
-Alice Walker, The Same River Twice